| Crash > |
[03 Nov 2008|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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All-American Rejects - Gives You Hell |
] |
Crash and burn baby
Crash and burn
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| Addiction |
[28 Oct 2008|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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 Euphoric |
] |
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music |
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Five Iron Frenzy - See the flames begin to crawl. |
] |
This is a strange feeling. A craving for a single human beings presence. Feeling like you couldn't be truly happy unless they are there. Have trouble sleeping without them there. Not caring if they think you are a creep because it doesn't really matter. You can't really help the way things work. Having something as simple as a smile warming your entire body. Not even really knowing much about them but for some reason your body is just drawn to them. Things seem to be easy with them when with others it's not. Feeling as if you would do anything to make them happy just to pay back the happiness they give to you just by being there. This is all new to me. I feel like a creep.. I'll keep the things to myself. So much to say but can't find the words. Body numbs yet burns at the touch. It's a beautiful and amazing thing. Even if such things could not be shared mutually would it be selfish to indulge in it for as long as I possibly could? Eh doesn't matter. I think I deserve this.
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| Things haven't changed |
[22 Oct 2008|10:43pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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MSI - Bomb This Track |
] |
Here I go again. Fucking up a good thing...
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| lol... |
[17 Oct 2008|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Pitchshifter - Microwaved |
] |
I havent posted in this in forever.
life got crazy
Brandon joined the marines.. had a threesome with MY girlfriend..
He got engaged to Kate
I became FRIENDS with MARK Nagel
I started going to college at Macomb
Still work at the Salvation Army
Turned into a huge nerd
Also, I had Coffee for the first time today!
Well it was a latte or however you spell it but same thing.
My new friend Krystal is to thank for that.
She found a way to brighten my day after I found out about the first thing I mentioned.
Other than that I read all the Twilight and Harry Potter books and a million other things I forgot to write about.
Maybe I'll start writing in this again.
doubt it
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| 2007.. |
[01 Jan 2008|12:09am] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody. |
] |
So let's see.. what happened in 2007 now that it's gone:
Graduated from highschool.
Got my first job.
First heartbreak
Got my license.
Bought my first car.
Started college.
Best friend is becoming an EMT.
Chopped off all of my hair
Became an uncle twice.
That's all I can think of right now in the 10 seconds I took to think about it.
New Years.. Brandon is on an ambulence right now. We all know he's my only friend.
So I spent it alone..
Well with my bitchy sister Kristie
It wasn't all that bad.
New Years resolution.. same as last year..
Get in shape... lose about 15 pounds or so
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| SNOW. LOVE. Same thing |
[15 Dec 2007|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Tegan and Sara - Walking with a Ghost |
] |
Today I went and saw I Am Legend. AMAZING fucking movie. Then me and my sister walked out and played in the snow in the MJR parking lot for like 20 minutes. I almost killed us driving home and it was hilarious. I couldnt see where I was and I ended up being on the shoulder for atleast a mile and came inches from driving up a curb.
Went to Arie's old school's choir concert.
What a joke.
I should have thought more about it before I agreed to go.
Her.. Finally seeing her old choir friends..
Duh.
I ended up spending like 15 minutes with her.. which was basically the car ride.
Nikki is mad at me?
No idea. Doesn't really matter.
People can be dumb sometimes.
It's an amazing day.
Go outside.
I just played in my front yard with my sister for atleast an hour blasting Tegan and Sara.
My hair was frozen all spiked up from the wind and the snow.
It was wonderful.
K. have fun.
Stop being a fag.
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| Ha |
[25 Nov 2007|02:43pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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music |
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Disturbed - Stupify |
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Don't even waste my fucking time calling me anymore.
It's the same thing everytime and it sickens me.
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| Love, love |
[17 Nov 2007|11:09pm] |
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mood |
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plz |
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music |
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She Wants Revenge - Written in Blood |
] |
Ive been trying to figure out why Brandon is obsessed with nothing but finding love lately.
Well I just watched
A. Titanic
B. A WALK TO REMEMBER
And well now I know.
And I know how he feels now.
I've been in love twice.
Once the girl didn't love me back.
Maybe in words.. but she didn't show it in actions.
The other was love returned.. but it wasn't really t rue love.
We both loved eachother but we didn't allow ourselves to fully indulge in it.
Letting petty things get in the way..
Not fully trusting eachother.
The moment I felt it could be true love was after her play..
Just sitting in the crowd.. watching her ( we were broken up at the time)
And then seeing her after it all..
running toward me.. kissing her.. realizing how much I really loved her and missed her.
But that died :}
So now I, like Brandon, would love to find true, actual love.
Like Rose and Jack
Landon and Jamie
Romeo and Juliet
The Notebook kinda thing.
I may seem gay to you.. but you can get fucked.
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| Skanks |
[10 Nov 2007|09:57pm] |
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My sister is a huge skank.
I'll explain why when the computer isn't spinning and I'm not so tired.
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| Lame |
[10 Nov 2007|08:59am] |
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music |
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Mischief Brew - Victory Dance of the Outlanders |
] |
American Gangster... HORRIBLE movie.
Party today?
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| Why is it that.. |
[08 Nov 2007|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
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music |
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Bomb the Music Industry! - Side Projects are never successful |
] |
Why is it that people don't protest anymore?
People should not fear the government.
The government should fear the people.
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| Nala |
[15 Oct 2007|06:58pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Red Wings game. |
] |
Today during class I had a 2 hour break between classes.
Jessica Quinn called me.
Turns out she lives like 4 minutes from the college so I met up with her.
Of course Tym calls and Flips out on her for some reason or other.
Tym,
I don't want to fuck your girlfriend.
I'm not trying to get her to go out with me.
She's my really good friend and I enjoy seeing her every once in a while.
It's not a big deal AT ALL.
We literally just sat in a parking lot and caught up with everything that's been going on in our lives.
It pisses me off that I can't even hang out w/ one of my best friends because her boyfriend is so against her talking to anyone that isn't him.
Other than that.
It was wonderful seeing her.
Seeing a friendly face is always nice.
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| You can't die Mr. hanky |
[15 Oct 2007|06:49pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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music |
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The Devil Wears Prada - Texas is South |
] |
So Saturday was the most amazing day ever.
Me and Brandon went to Phyliss's party
Within the first 10 minutes we finished off a fifth of Five Oh
Drunk in public is the most amazing thing in the world
Saw Rob Nowak
Road on the haunted hay ride thing and got to laugh at all the people trying to be scary.
Brandon wore a dress and became the party guy again.
Puked my guts out.
A bunch of other shit I can't remember.
Woke up in the morning..
Still completely wasted.
And sure enough..
Brandon fucking left me there!
So I started walking home..
(It would have taken like 5 hours)
Then My dad picked me up.
Drove my sister to go tanning.
That's when I realized that I was still drunk.
Almost got in like 5 accidents literally.
Drove up a curb and scratched all the paint off the bottom of my car.
Went to Salvation army to yell at brandon for leaving me there.
He just kept laughing.
He was still Completely shit faced.
I probably would have blown like.. a .18 and I hadn't drunk anything for like 6 hours.
It was a wonderful day.
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| Sellouts |
[07 Oct 2007|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
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music |
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The Devil Wears Prada - Swords, Dragons, and Diet Coke |
] |
Well ever since Atreyu decided to sell out and produce HORRIBLE cds..
I've been trying to figure out who my favorie band is.
I found that out today.
Besides VNV Nation,
The Devil Wears Prada.
And they just happen to be coming to michigan November 30th with Chiodos and Emery
Anyone want to go?
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| Appreciate don't player hate |
[04 Oct 2007|08:16pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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Adema - The way you like it |
] |
So apparently Nikki is going around telling people I only dated her because I wanted a piece..
How about not.
I mean.. every guy (Besides Brandon, He just likes hand jobs) wants sex.
But I didn't only date her with that in mind as my main goal.
Trust me, If I wanted ass that bad, I would have got ass.
Not to sound cocky, or say she is a slut.
But what people don't know is that I can be a master manipulator.
I know the right things to say.
I know how to make people comfortable
I know how to push the right buttons.
I just don't use my knowledge very often.
Trust me, if you think you know me.. you really don't know anything about me.
A lot of people haven't met the same Ray.
I am fake.
Sorry.
I put on a show.
Arie doesn't even know how I am.
She saw glimpses..
But I quickly covered that up with the pathetic self I portrayed myself as.
Who knows.
People are gay.
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| What a Joke |
[04 Oct 2007|03:00pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
] |
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music |
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Adema - Freaking Out |
] |
So apparently Nikki is a lesbian now?
ha.
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| Bang: Kill yourself :Bang |
[01 Oct 2007|10:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
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music |
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Adema - Giving in |
] |
I don't think there is a sad enough song in the world to suit my musical needs right now.
I'm a horrible person.
I live a boring life.. and fail to strive for a better one.
My eyes have never been so open to anything as they are now.
unfortunately for me.. I'm not going to be one of those people that can turn back and say.. " I wouldn't do anything different"
Because I can think of a million things already that I would change.
I can honestly say that I suck at life.
Don't ge me wrong.. I'm not all.. boo hoo I need to kill myself..
If you look at my life as a whole..
I've been dead a long time as it is.
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| life of an 18 year old |
[30 Sep 2007|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
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music |
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Atreyu - Dilated |
] |
Well my 18th birthday was the 27th..
I went to the Huka bar.
That place is wonderful.
Hanging out w/ Alex and Zoe a lot.
I realized that spending life in my house watching how everyone else lives their lives on some tv show isn't the way to do it so I'm trying to get out as much as I can now.
Yesterday I went to Zoe and Alex's block party.
It was nice to get all hyper and let out my energy.
I didn't call Nikki for 3 days..
So she broke up with me.
Kinda expected.
I've been doing my homework all day..
I have to read my dr. seuss book in class tomorrow.
Talk about terrifying.
Lions won.
Dana is coming over to get some books soon.
My fish tank looks fucking awesome and I bought thissweet fish that is just devouring every feeder fish I put in the tank.
Let's do something..
Even though I have school or work every day of the week til 5
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| First day |
[24 Sep 2007|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Orgy - blue monday |
] |
Today was the first day of actual college.
John Plambeck is in 2 of 3 classes so atleast I know someone.
Oral presentation class is going to kill me.
Math will be a breeze.
English we already had to write a paper.
My birthday is Friday...
No idea what I am going to do for it.
Nothing that exciting for now.
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| When I was a little Girl |
[22 Sep 2007|11:54am] |
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mood |
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giddy |
] |
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music |
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Billy Talent - Lies |
] |
So I passed my road test. Easy.
Have been going to college.
Met a sweet kid named Burgess so I didn't feel like too big of a loner there.
Went camping at Yogi Bear again.
Wasn't all that exciting.
I'm getting too old for there.
Got wasted and told my parents way too much about my life.
Been driving everywhere.. have already blew like 200 bucks on gas.
Bought my 55 gallon tank finally.
Have spent like 300 bucks on it.
But it looks cool as hell.
Hung out with Nikki..
Watched Zodiak..
Forever long.. then the words at the end were too small so we have no idea how it ends..
Birthday is in like.. 6 days.
Woo or something.
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